According to a glowing report on NBC’s Today program last week, thousands of well-heeled American visitors are flocking to spend vacations in the English countryside this summer, seeking to commune with the parent country of their ancestors, in what NBC said transatlantic visitors fondly imagine to be the “land of Downton Abbey and Jane Austen.”
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The only problem with this idealistic analogy being that, today, most places in the real-life “Yookay,” with their polluted brown hills, charmless vape-stores acting as barely-policed fronts for immigrant crime, and historic pubs being converted into mosques, in fact possess all the allure not of a novel by Jane Austen, but one co-authored by JG Ballard and Michel Houellebecq.
Rape and Village
Appearances can be deceptive. Take a sunny, open-air picnic held last weekend in Piddington, a tiny, 1,000-year-old Oxfordshire village which, at first glance, really does look a genuine slice of Jane Austen-Land, with its ancient church, quaint parish hall, and rolling green acres. As described by the local newspaper, “Families enjoyed picnics, flew kites, and spent time together while children painted a large Hollywood-style ‘Piddington’ sign.” Sounds idyllic. Who would not want to live in a place like Piddington? The people of Piddington themselves right now.
The Piddington picnic may have seemed like a charming attempt to attract more tourists, but really functioned as part of a wider public protest campaign. On the appropriate date of July 4, the village’s 370 or so residents had already voted, by a margin of 96 percent, to hold a (legally unenforceable) referendum on leaving the U.K. forever, over uproar about government plans to suddenly dump up to 1,250 asylum seekers, all of whom will be “single adult males”, in a disused army camp in the nearby countryside, leaving the real Piddingtonians outnumbered 3.5 to 1. Being such a tiny, obscure place, Piddington’s woes initially stayed close to the locality itself. But now, finally, news has crossed the Atlantic, with sympathetic pieces appearing in outlets like The Wall Street Journal, and the likes of Elon Musk getting volubly involved.
Even some pro-migrant charities accept Piddington is an unsuitable location to hold an asylum center. The place is so small it doesn’t have streetlights, shops, or even a pub to be turned into a mosque. It doesn’t have a single policeman, either. Politicians reassured terrified residents they had no need to worry, though; whilst they would be free to come and go as they pleased, the village’s new colonizers would have to sign a small sheet of paper every time they left barracks. They also handed each Piddington household a free factsheet about their looming foreign occupation. If only other invading armies throughout history had bothered to hand out civilians free factsheets during times of war, nobody sensible would ever have objected to being conquered at all!
The garrison is sited directly next to a children’s playground, something which, given foreigners’ known propensity for committing sex crimes against U.K. women and children of late, is worrying. One Piddingtonian complained how:
“I’ve had men — grown men — crying to me because they’ve got young daughters … One guy who’s got an 18-year-old said, ‘I will not let her go out. I will not let her leave the house alone’ … We don’t have anything to defend ourselves with. It’s against the law for us to carry a knife or have a gun.”
They should pretend to be Sikhs and start legally carrying a kirpan like the guy who stabbed Henry Nowak did.
Foreign Aid
Having preliminarily voted for independence, Piddington now plans to contact the U.S. Embassy in London, in light of this year’s 250th anniversary of America’s own Declaration of Independence, seeking help from Donald Trump and JD Vance, who seem to like Britain more than its own current rulers do.
Foreign help was all Piddington was getting. From across the Atlantic this past week, Anglophilic celebrities like Elon Musk and expatriate former Monty Python star John Cleese (well-known for correctly thinking London is “not really an English city anymore”) objected, but the left-wing Labour government was not listening.
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Britain’s new Prime Minister, Andy Burnham, has just been “elected” (in a bloodless coup) on a platform of supposedly giving local power back to local people: by which he means pathetic trivialities like tinkering with local business tax rates, not being able to say no to suddenly having 1,250 potential Muslims put up next to your pre-teen daughter’s playground. Oddly enough, the only notable U.K. politician to truly object to this was Zia Yusuf, of the anti-immigration Reform UK Party — who is, himself, a Muslim of Sri Lankan heritage.
So, the British people are now reliant mainly upon Sri Lankans, Americans and South Africans like Yusuf, Vance, Trump and Musk to defend them and their legitimate ancestral interests, because their own native British “representatives” in Westminster are either too terrified of being called “racist,” or else on the side of the invaders themselves, to do anything about all this.
The latest news is that PM Burnham has been invited to play tourist and visit Piddington personally by its furious residents, so he can see first-hand how inappropriate the place is to accommodate hundreds of unknown Africans and Arabs. The problem is, if Burnham did see how totally their presence would trash the place, he’d probably be absolutely delighted.
Committing Countricide
Unlike today’s enraptured American tourists, the ruling political elite of England, who by rights really should have more desire to protect the land than anyone does, are not Anglophiles at all, particularly when it comes to the nation’s historic countryside areas. The age-old heritage represented by the English countryside represents something eternal, traditional and unchanging — hence, to the modern left-wing mind it has to be destroyed.
Previous Labour PM Keir Starmer drove farmers towards suicide with ridiculously onerous new inheritance-tax rules on family farms, then basically said he didn’t care. The landscape is increasingly defaced with giant solar-panel farms rather than real farms growing crops, colossal fly-tipping sites are allowed to grow unpoliced, and rivers flow polluted. Classic old-time English countryside pursuits like fox-hunting have long been banned, ostensibly on animal-rights grounds, but really out of pure left-wing spite against the traditionally Tory shires. There are even calls to ban dogs from the British countryside next, in order to “tackle racism,” by which is really meant to appease Muslims, for whom such mangy curs are haram.
One Piddington resident recently complained that, if the asylum camp plan went ahead, his teenage daughter wouldn’t even be able to walk the family dog anymore: was he more scared for the safety of his daughter or his dog here?
Labour naturally wants to commit an act of immediate murder — the helpless victim being the countryside. Via its rural affairs department, Labour has published comprehensive plans to make the British countryside infinitely “less white”: Piddington may be the early prototype. And this from the same people who claim that the Great Replacement is a pure myth and a fake conspiracy theory.
So, if you’re one of the many Americans hoping to visit “the real England” this summer, spare a thought for the inhabitants of that same semi-mythical location — they’d like to still be able to actually live there, too. Unfortunately, their own government is doing its very best to ensure the place no longer even exists. Best visit while you still can.
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