{"id":939,"date":"2026-07-16T12:36:31","date_gmt":"2026-07-16T12:36:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/propertytransitionmedia.com\/?p=939"},"modified":"2026-07-16T12:36:31","modified_gmt":"2026-07-16T12:36:31","slug":"joe-bidens-autopen-has-written-a-memoir","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/propertytransitionmedia.com\/?p=939","title":{"rendered":"Joe Biden’s Autopen Has Written A Memoir"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Son-of-a-gun. Turns out Joe Biden\u2019s autopen can do more than pardon Covid villains and free Yemeni terrorists from Guantanamo Bay.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Read more Tillis Doesn\u2019t Understand Difference Between Biden\u2019s Weaponized DOJ And Trump\u2019s Pursuit Of Justice<\/a><\/p>\n

The former president has written a book. A memoir. Yes, that requires a memory, so very likely the octogenarian with the mental acuity of a Hungry Man Salisbury steak dinner had a lot of help.\u00a0<\/p>\n

It\u2019s available now for pre-order ahead of a scheduled November release. I know that because Joe himself told me in a glossy promotional video, apparently filmed in his Pledge-shined study.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s about the challenges we face as a nation, about the decisions I made, and why I made them,\u201d Biden says in his berzia-berzia, mush mouth language we\u2019ve all grown to love. It\u2019s available for prorder <\/em>now, the ex-president mumbles.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Whoa! Now, we\u2019ll get the whole truth and nothing but the truth from a man whose political love language is lying.\u00a0<\/p>\n

In the video, Sleepy Joe is seen pretending to write something on the blank page of a binder and sorting through documents that he probably kept next to his Corvette in his Delaware beachfront garage. Confidential? Top Secret? It doesn\u2019t matter. Who could convict an \u201celderly man with a poor memory?\u201d<\/p>\n

The title of Biden\u2019s memoir is Promise Me, America<\/em>. Prosaic for sure. I think we can workshop this thing and come up with much better \u2014 and apropos \u2014 titles.\u00a0<\/p>\n

1. Joe Biden: You Know, The Thing<\/em><\/p>\n

2. Come Here, Kid. I Wanna Sniff You<\/em><\/p>\n

3. What I Really Told Corn Pop<\/em><\/p>\n

4. To Ukraine With Love<\/em><\/p>\n

5. Which Way Do I Go?<\/em><\/p>\n

6. Let\u2019s Go Lick The World<\/em><\/p>\n

7. Let\u2019s Do Pushups Together Here, Man!<\/em><\/p>\n

8. Black Like Me<\/em><\/p>\n

9. Come On, Man! Who Took My Damn Pants?!<\/em><\/p>\n

10. James Buchanan, You\u2019re Off The Hook\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Alas, we\u2019re stuck with Promise Me America<\/em>.\u00a0<\/p>\n

A Restoration Project<\/h2>\n

Somebody told Biden to say that his memoir is all about \u201cleading the country through Covid (quick image of Joe getting the shot, then in a mask), rebuilding our economy, and restoring our democracy after Jan. 6 (cut to footage of rioters at the Capitol).\u201d So, I guess it\u2019s a work of fiction.\u00a0<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a restoration project for a dilapidated shack of a man that once proudly stood as a kitschy house of ill repute. \u00a0<\/p>\n

Read more \u2018It\u2019s Not An Oops\u2019: Critics Call For Firing Of Incompetent Wisconsin Election Official<\/a><\/p>\n

Joe promises to take you inside his mind. You do like cobwebs and cymbal-banging monkey toys, don\u2019t you?\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s about why I chose to run for re-election, and why I chose to step aside,\u201d the tossed-out former president says. Then he gets wistful, solemn-sounding \u2014\u00a0 as if he didn\u2019t defecate all over the country he claims to love.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cMost of all, it\u2019s about my faith in the promise of America. The promise we made to those who have gone before us, to honor their sacrifice. The promises we made to each other, and to treat everyone with dignity and respect,\u201d Biden says self-righteously, as if he, his administration and their Marxist circle didn\u2019t harass, hector, intimidate, and imprison their political enemies.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cPromise Me, America<\/em> is about my faith in America, and the American people,\u201d he claims.<\/p>\n

Biden winks at the end, as if he\u2019s still in on the joke.\u00a0<\/p>\n

To paraphrase Bob Dylan\u2019s \u201cPositively 4th Street,\u201d Joe Biden has no faith to lose, and we know it. He was always and remains \u2014 at least what\u2019s left of him \u2014 a political animal. A calculating beast who traded his independence for a four-year conservatorship at the White House, managed by some of the most evil people to have ever walked God\u2019s green Earth.\u00a0<\/p>\n

So what does Joe Biden want America to promise him? That his pal Anthony Fauci will never go to prison for the crimes Biden preemptively\u00a0 pardoned? That the federal government will bring back the divisive and racist Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion policies he championed with the same love and affection he held for his mentor, the \u201cExalted Cyclops of the Klan\u201d himself, dead Sen. Robert Byrd, D-W.V.? That Americans will build back better a presidential legacy of corruption and failure, the real story of Biden\u2019s term in office? \u00a0<\/p>\n

That they will buy his book?<\/p>\n

Biden may be a fuse short of a circuit but he still knows what money is \u2014 and what it can buy.\u00a0<\/p>\n

At just $37 for the hardcover, you can preorder your copy today. Who knows, Biden\u2019s autopen might just sign if for you.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Read more Democrat Senator Wants ICE Agents To Choose Between Getting Run Over And Going To Jail<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The title of Biden\u2019s memoir is Promise Me, America. And it promises to be a reinvention of the former president’s miserable term.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":938,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[154],"tags":[1978,2076,2830,2831,2833,16,2944,2945,544],"class_list":["post-939","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-politics","tag-anthony-fauci","tag-autopen","tag-diversity","tag-equity","tag-inclusion","tag-joe-biden","tag-memoir","tag-robert-byrd","tag-white-house"],"yoast_head":"\nJoe Biden’s Autopen Has Written A Memoir - Property Transition Media<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/propertytransitionmedia.com\/?p=939\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Joe Biden’s Autopen Has Written A Memoir - Property Transition Media\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The title of Biden\u2019s memoir is Promise Me, America. 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